Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
