hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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