you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I woke up under a house in Key West
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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