I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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