I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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