what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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