I need help removing her.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
