she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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