pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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