i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
