he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
