i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
