So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Randomize
