do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
