boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
