I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
