oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
high people should be assigned attendants
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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