I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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