Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
We're like a lot better than the average bears
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
