All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
