So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
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