I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
