and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
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