That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I just had sex on a roof
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
