Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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