By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
