fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
