i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
