i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
