I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
