i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Randomize
