So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
