What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
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