oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
should my penis look like a turkey
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I touched a dick in church today
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
