I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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