i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
