I must be too annoying 4 u.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
