you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
