How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
