I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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