if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
