next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
