You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
