this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
