I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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