we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
