Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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