doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I CAN MOONWALK!
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
