I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
