Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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