Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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